He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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