I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
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