life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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