she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
