Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
