i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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