are you still at the devil's house?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
