i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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