You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
