do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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