Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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