I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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