i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
His hands were made for my vagina.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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