Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
