Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Text me some of your sweat
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
