wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
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