i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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