1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
