roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I deserve this hangover.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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