I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
