when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
