the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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