please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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