I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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