When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
