Hey man sorry I got all grabby
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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