Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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