When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize