I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
