I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Send help, water and tortillas.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
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