Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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