Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize