You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
