How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
ugly people sure do ruin things
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize