I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
