Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
