Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize