Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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