Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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