I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
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yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
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Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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