Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
