She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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