Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
