so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
