I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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