who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
