You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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