he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
