i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Randomize
