We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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