Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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