can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
