i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
