I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
So here I am, sexting at work.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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