and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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