I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
