??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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