im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize