Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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