Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
