All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
